Baby Girl is teething. Again. She is crabby and miserable and doesnt want to eat. And the most wonderful part is that she is not sleeping well. I was up a few times last night, so getting out of bed this morning was rough.
So Ive been thinking a lot about having a second child. And Im not so sure I want to anymore. Call me completely selfish….but I know it will be very hard on me once we leave here and are stationed somewhere else. Im sure D will end up on a ship that will be deploying, and I dont know if I can handle a young toddler and a new infant. I rely so much on D right now, and he does a wonderful job, I just cant imagine doing it all over again without him. So I thought to myself the other night: what if we just dont have another kid? Maybe once we move and our situation changes I will change my mind. But Ive never wanted a lot of kids, two max…and before I got pregnant some days I wasnt even sure if I wanted kids at all.
I know Ive rambled on in a couple of posts about kids / moving / deployments….but I think the reality just hit me that this will in fact happen. And I need to get my mind prepared. Deployments, and military life is hard enough without kids…
Sometimes I get a little neurotic and worry that I will not be a good mother while he is gone. There were some days I could barely drag my butt out of bed, or off the couch from a chick flick marathon missing him so much my whole body ached. What am I going to do on the days I feel like that and I will have to be mom & dad?
I know I am completely getting ahead of myself here. Its just been some worries / stresses going through my head lately… I definitely worry too much.
