Pregnancy Part III: The Home Stretch

First I’d like to apologize in the delay in getting part three done, in the midst of typing it all life happened.  No surprise there I’m sure.  Anyways, the third trimester was the biggest roller coaster of all for me.  I wasn’t throwing up all the time, my face cleared up, I was used to the food aversions, and had finally accepted that at the end of this all there would be a baby.  What was harder to accept was that I could no longer see my lady bits, that I was winded after walking 20 feet, and that I needed a heave-ho to roll over at night.  Lets talk about night time for a second.  I dont think I slept the entire night through starting somewhere in the middle of my pregnancy.  If I wasn’t getting up to go pee two or three times, it was because I ended up sleeping on my back out of habit and my legs fell asleep, or because I stretched weird and got a charlie horse in my calf.  Tip: when pregnant always always ALWAYS stretch your legs by leading with your heels.  This will save you lots of pain especially in the middle of the night. Baby girl was super active at night, which never really kept me awake, but was hard to get used to at first.  It felt like there was someone swimming laps around inside my belly. 

By this time the clothes that I loathed in my first trimester because I always felt like I was wearing a tent, were now a godsend.  I very noticibly pregnant.  I started to get really nervous about having a big baby at this point.  Let me tell you that the babies in my family are unusually large.  The average is about 8 1/2 lbs.  I was 8 lb 10 oz, three of my cousins and my sister were over 10 pounds.   And the babies were not big because of gestational diabetes either.   So my fear that I was going to have a very big baby was justified.  My doctor said I measured average and that I should have nothing to worry about.  At this time I started really “getting” the fact that people dont always believe that first time parents know what they are talking about.  I mean, I know my body better than anybody, and I know that the baby was taking up literally all my room.  I would have to push her out of my ribs when I would sit down.  I would try to force her out of my side and out from under my ribs all the time.  It got to a point where there was no more room and it got painful instead of annoying.  But once it got to that point, what made it better was when she would stick out her foot or elbow and you could clearly see it protruding.  Made me laugh every time. 

I know that most women dread the glucose gestational diabetes test.  When I went in, I was certain I was going to fail and I did.  I had to go back again for the super glucose test a few days later.  Here’s how it works: wake up and not eat anything (soo hard), go to the doctors get your blood taken, drink the most sugary thing in the world, get your blood taken an hour later, then again in another hour, then again one more after that.  All the while you are sweating, your heart is racing, the baby is going friggin NUTS, you are having a hot flash, and want to throw up.  Thankfully I passed that test and didnt have gestational diabetes, but I was told to watch my carbs.  I will admit that I was nervous about it, and I probably should have had a better diet anyways.  But all in all the experience wasnt the worst of my life, especially the first test.  There is so much hype about it that you just come to dread it weeks before you even go.  So dont its not that bad, the second one sucks but most women dont have to do that one. 

At this point I had a definite waddle.  I make fun of pregnant women who waddle, but I can tell you it is not something you can help.  Your center of balance is off and your hips hurt.  God your hips!  At this point your pelvis starts getting ready for the baby so it starts stretching out.  I guess things start moving and that shit aches.  I wanted to hold my belly up so that it would feel better… but it didnt.  Nothing I did made me feel better.  I was officially uncomfortable 100% of the time.  And that is not an exaggeration. 

You know how pregnant women have stereotype of eating all the time and eating everything in sight?  Well its only partly true.  You do eat constantly, but that because in the third trimester the baby takes up all the room and your stomach has no room.  Eat a piece of bread and you’re full.  Forget going out to dinner.  I went to Macaroni Grill and ordered eggplant parmesan and literally had 10 bites and was stuffed to the max.  An hour later I had 10  more bites.  Thus the eating constantly stereotype begins.  Have you also noticed that when you are pregnant all of a sudden everyone you know whats to critique everything you eat?  What you eat, how much you eat, why you eat?  Tuna Fish?!  Lunch meat?!  Imported cheese?!  Geesh… It gets really old very quickly.  I felt like I had to hide when I ate, just so I didnt have to justify everythign to everyone.  Leave me the hell alone now!

Ahh…the joys of pregnancy.  And it all leads up to… the birth.  But unfortunately I am too tired to type anymore, Ill save it for tomorrow.